Man from Bombay went to London. In the evening, he felt like talking to his wife. So dialled his residence and the following conversation happened :-
Man - O-Haello-o-o
Reply - Hello
Man smirks as it is an unfamiliar male voice.
Man - Oye, kaun hai.
Reply - Shaab, main Bahadur.
Man - Oye, too kahan se aaya.
Bahadur - Shaab, mujhe aaj hi MemShaab ne naukri pe rakha hai.
Man shifts uneasily at the revealation of Manni's
daring at keeping a Hardworking Pahari bahadur, the
day Man has left home.
Man - Oye, khote, ja ke Memsahib nu bula ke mere
naal gal kara
Bahadur - Shaab, MemShaab to shota hai.
Man - Oye, tu Memsahib nu jaga de.
Bahadur - Par Shaab, MemShaab to Shaab ke saath shota hai.
Man is Red and White, Sorry Wild with anger.
Man - Dekh oye Bahadur, Tu meri gal sun. Main tera
asli Sahib hoon.
Bahadur - Shaab, to phir MemShaab ke paas kaun shota hai.
Man - Woh koi khoti da puttar nakli Sahib ban ke aya hoga.
Tu aisa kar, drawing room ki diwar par meri dunali bandook
latki hai. Ja use leke aa ja.
After a pause....
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, Bandook le aya.
Man - Ye telephone ke niche wali daraz men
goliyaan padi hain. Usme se do goliyaan Bandook mein
daal de.
After a shuffling and cranking noise...
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, dal diya.
Man - ab jake us nakli Sahib ko aur Memsahib ko
shoot kar de.
Rapport of two gunshots is heard and...
Bahadur - Haan Shaab, maine dono ko shoot kar diya.
ab lashon ka kya karoon, Shaab.
Man - Bahar garden mein gaddha khod ke dono lashon
ko dafan kar de.
Bahadur - Shaab, aap kya bolta hai. Ye fifteenth floor
pe garden kahan se aayegaa.
Man - Oh..sorry wrong number
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby
delivered. Upon arrival the doctor said that he had invented
a machine that would transfer a portion of the labor pain
to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.
They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob at 10% for starters, explaining that
even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever
experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the
husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to bump the
machine up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to
20%. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and
pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At 50% the husband was still holding up fine, since this was
obviously helping out his wife he encouraged the doctor to
transfer all of the pain. The wife delivered a healthy baby
with virtually no pain. She and her husband were absolutely thrilled.
Everything was great - until they got home and found the postman dead on their porch.
A Dog Named Sex
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine Sex.
Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license,
I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too."
Then I said, "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "But you don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old."
He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said every room in the place was for sex. I said,"You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night!"
The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around.
I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had
hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog.
I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too."
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?"
I said, "I'm looking for Sex."
